The Joys of Parenting

This morning I awoke to the sound of Walker, my two year old, patiently asking to come out of his bedroom. Glancing at my clock as I rolled out of bed I was discouraged to see how early it still was. I quietly got up, determined to set him up in front of a cartoon while I snatched another hour of sleep on the couch. After I opened the door to his room and he came stumbling out, I turned back to close the door to my room so that my wife could keep sleeping for a bit. As I was wrestling in the dark with some high heels that were in the way of the door closing, I heard behind me the unmistakable sound of diaper velcro being torn open. I quickly turned around to witness the sublime horror of what had just happened. Much like a basketball player grabs the crotch of his warm-up pants and rips them off when he’s called up to go into the game, my son had grabbed the crotch of his diaper, ripped it off, and flung copious amounts of diarrhea all over himself, the floor, an unfortunately placed shoe and ironically, his potty chair. My silently mouthed “what the hell!” just didn’t seem to cover it. So, rather than spend the next hour napping on the couch, I got to spend it cleaning up poo. All I can say is, what a crappy way to start a day.

2 Responses

  1. That truly does suck! My condolences.


  2. Jerk! I really liked this story. I will think of this when it happens to me.

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