10 Easy Steps to Make Your First $Billion

Presidential Warning: If you read this blog post, the terrorists win!

10 Easy Steps:

  1. Become Secretary of Defense
  2. Oversee the destruction of Iraq during Desert Storm
  3. Become CEO of Halliburton
  4. Secure billions of dollars in no-bid, government contracts to rebuild war-torn Iraq
  5. Create off-shore tax shelters to help Halliburton completely avoid paying all taxes
  6. Leave your job at Halliburton, but still get paid
  7. Become Vice President
  8. Divert attention from real threats to start another war with Iraq
  9. Award Halliburton US Miliary Support contracts worth billions
  10. Award Halliburton billions of dollars in contracts to rebuild Iraq after it’s destroyed again

Rinse. Repeat.

Sources:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dick_Cheney

http://rawstory.com/news/2005/Cheneys_stock_options_rose_3281_last_1011.html

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2003/09/26/politics/main575356.shtml

http://www.commondreams.org/views05/1117-22.htm

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1101030721-464405,00.html

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One Response

  1. That first step is a doozie. (doozy?)

    I have sent in my application for SecDef but haven’t heard anything from Bush. I have read my Machiavelli so I don’t know what the hold-up is…

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