Thick as a Brick

This evening as we were putting Porter and Walker down for bed in their new room, I called Porter over to Walker’s bed so we could all lay down together and read the bedtime story the picked out.  So, as I started reading ‘The Cat in the Hat,’ one of their perrennial favorites, I discovered that my shoulder was laying in something wet.  After a quick sniff, it was pretty easy to identify it as pee.  Apparently sometime between dinner and bedtime, Walker had enough time to take off his pants and pee all over his bed.  I’m not sure if he randomly got himself naked (something he frequently does) and then had an accident, or if he just whipped it out and intentionally used his bed as a urinal (something I could see him doing), but I sure am sick of that kid not being potty trained.  He just turned 3, which means we’ve been trying for over a year now, but the little kid just doesn’t care about anything!  We’ve tried rewarding, punishing, shaming, praising, cajoling, ignoring.  We just can’t get him to care about anything for more than 3 seconds.  I’m quite sure I could beat him near to death trying to get him to change something and it wouldn’t have any effect.

So, the point of this post is not how stubborn Walker is, but how he manages to keep himself alive even after pushing us to our limits:  After I discovered the pee, I made him lay down on the floor for the rest of the story.  This, of course, had no impact on him.  He’s just as carefree sleeping on cement as on his bed, so no punishment there.  Anyway, after the story and lights out I layed down with Walker to have a heart to heart.  I went on and on about how he should want to be a big boy like Porter and how he can’t have sleepovers with his cousins or go to school if he pees his pants all the time, and I know he can do it if he just pays attention.  Blah, blah, blah, for 10 minutes, with Walker trying to answer my questions the way he thinks I want, but his brain obviously floating somewhere in la-la-land the whole time.  Finally, exasperated, I said “I just don’t know what to do to get through to your head!”  Walker, suddenly taking interest, looked at me and said in all seriousness “you’re too big to fit through my head.”

At that point I just laughed, realized I was trying to reason with an adorable little brick wall, gave up, tucked him in bed and left.

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7 Responses

  1. Mike, after having potty trained 3 boys, I decided it’s not even worth trying to do anything with them until they are well after 3. Sigh. Not that I didn’t want to try earlier, but after how things went with my oldest (as in, they didn’t … for a long time), I let the next two boys start when they seemed ready, regardless of age. They’ll train when they’re darn good and ready. Stubborn boys.

    Good luck though! I just love three-year-old logic.

  2. I agree, you are definately too big to get in his head. That little fellow is hilarious and I miss him already 🙂

  3. The sad thing is that he really is potty trained. He goes all the time by himself and never has accidents unless he CHOOSES to!! I’m pretty sure this is what goes through his mind… “Hmmmmm, I’m bored. What should I do now? What is it that infuriates my mom and dad? Oh, I know, I’ll get into my dresser and pull all the clothes out. I’ll try on 10 different outfits before I decide that what I really want to wear is ginch (undies) over top of my pj pants. No, I did that yesterday three times and already twice today. Wait… I’ve got it… I’ll pee my pants. That ALWAYS gets their attention. Now, where to do it… Oh, duh, on my bed that my dad just worked so hard to put together for me so I could have a really nice bedroom. Plus mom just washed all the sheets and blankets in the entire house so that’ll really get her. Ha ha ha… I’m a genius.” Yep, I’m pretty sure that’s how it goes in his little mind! EVERYDAY!!!

  4. As soon as we encouraged my 3 year old to pee on trees, shrubs, car wheels- anything outside. He got it and thought it was the coolest thing ever!

    My second son I think has a personality that will be a bit more stubborn- so good luck and let me know what finally works!

  5. I think it’s a second child thing … makes parents crazy!!!!
    But one suggestion you might try (just in case it isn’t just a stubborn streak) — eliminate bladder irritants from his diet for a 3-6 months. These foods would be: cola drinks & caffeinated drinks of all kinds, lemonade, orange juice, & chocolate. If they have a bladder issue, this often helps. (been there done that, got the pee-shirt).

  6. Mike,
    That was a hilarious story.

    I feel your pain. I have a 3 year old who is similarly resistant to potty training and reason in general. I laughed out loud with the long heart to heart, I did that a while ago and at one point threatened to “turn out the lights” when Joshua looked straight up and correctly pointed out that there was only “one light” and I gave up there too. Take heart that there are others out there dealing with the same little terrorists. My latest potty training tactic has been bribing my 3 year old with star wars figures…

  7. Walker is so funny! I do miss him so much, and all of you as well.

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