The Ultimate Toilet Device

Recently I had a most stupendous day, financially speaking.  I have a few side projects I’m working on, and I got paychecks for all of them on the same day.  That also happened to be the day I got paid from both of my regular jobs, with large commission checks included, and we got our first baby checks in the mail from the BC government, backpaying us for the time since we crossed the border in May.  So, in short, I was feeling tremendously rich that day, and in my heightened state of self worth, I went out and splurged on something I’ve been coveting pretty hard for a while: an iPod Touch.  This may not seem like a big purchase to some people, perhaps even a necessity to others, but for those of you who know what a tightwad I am, spending $300 on a toy gadget is a big deal for me.

I had to wait a couple of weeks to get the thing shipped to me (they haven’t yet announced any plans for an Apple Store in Vanderhoof and I’m not about to drive all the way to Prince George unless I have to), but it finally came a week or so ago, and I’ve had a smile on my face ever since.  Especially since I quickly discovered that the iPod Touch is the Ultimate, nay, Penultimate Toilet Device.  Long gone are the days of having a simple book or magazine in the bathroom to while away the minutes of a good bowel movement.  Now, I have a full, rich, multimedia, internet connected panoply of pleasure, literally at my fingertips.  I can check my email while listening to my favorite Beck album and playing Tetris, or get the latest Facebook updates while watching a recent episode of The Office.  I can even instant message my wife to bring me another roll of toilet paper (no more yelling for me!)  I actually considered writing this blog post on the toilet, but eventually decided against it, due to my poor iPod typing skills.  Plus, I think I’m getting a hemmorhoid.  OK, just kidding, but I am concerned that having such a wonderful device on the toilet, might cause issues.  Of course, the iPod does all the same fantastic things when not on the toilet, but I think most people can agree that it’s easy to lose track of time while watching compilations of people falling down on YouTube.  This has led to some major pins and needles from lack of blood flow to the legs.

Still, all hazards aside, I highly recommend the iPood Touch.

2 Responses

  1. “I’m coming with the toilet paper honey! Just as soon as I finish typing this comment… on my laptop… in the other bathroom!” Hey, if you can do it, I can do it!

  2. Mike, you’re right, the iPod touch (or the iPhone) is the ultimate bathroom time waster. Google Reader is my favorite way to get RSS feeds of news, and it works like a charm. Of course I still like the nostalgia of a good old magazine in the bathroom.

    And on another note… “penultimate?” What exactly are you proposing is better than the iPod touch? (You see, penultimate actually means the second best thing. Betcha didn’t know that one, did ya.)

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